what i learned today: in 1800 alexander hamilton and aaron burr were both defense lawyers for a guy who was accused of murder. they tried to cast suspicion on another guy who was near the scene of the crime, richard croucher. the details of what happened next are contentious, because the court transcript is vague and it honestly sounds like something either of these two fuckos would have done, so here’s a brief run-down of the two equally beautiful stories that have evolved regarding richard croucher’s day in court, paraphrased from ron chernow who was kind enough to ensure history didn’t forget this anecdote
the legend is, while croucher was testifying, hamilton held two candles under the dude’s face, giving him a “sinister glow”. he told the jury, “i conjure you to look through that man’s countenance to his conscience.” apparently spooked by a-ham’s theatrics, croucher confessed on the spot.
however! aaron burr later insisted HE was the one who put on this circus show. his version of the story is, he grabbed two candelabras and thrust them at croucher, exclaiming “BEHOLD THE MURDERER, GENTLEMEN!” croucher then ran out of the courtroom in terror
A rendition of this dramatic moment.
Interviewer: So, Mr Loaf…
Meat Loaf: please, call me meat
The collected part of the semen, raised and enflamed became a Lust converted to choler turned head upon the spinal duct, and ascended to the brain. The very same principle that influences a bully to break the windows of a whore that has jilted him, naturally stirrs up a great Prince to raise mighty armies, and dream of nothing but sieges, battles and victories. In this place I cannot avoid introducing a reflection by way of transgression. What a pity it is that our Congress had not known this discovery, and that Alexander Hamilton’s projects of raising fifty thousand Men, ten thousand of them to be Calvary and his projects of sedition Laws and Alien Laws and of new taxes to support his army all arose from a superabundance of secretions which he could not find whores enough to draw off! and that the same vapours produced his Lyes and Slanders by which he totally destroyed his party forever and finally lost his Life in the field of Honor.
John Adams to Doctor Benjamin Rush, Nov. 11 1806, in which he chalks up Hamilton’s problems to simply not getting laid enough. (via publius-reporter)
Hamilton casually tossed his sons into snowbanks during the winter and shoved snow down their shirts (at least the little ones who couldn’t fight back).
When he was alone, he sometimes danced to imaginary music in his head.
He fawned over his children in such am overly affectionate way that he often embarrassed them in front of their friends. Sometimes on purpose. (“Philip is growning into such a handsome young man, oh yes he is! Have you met any giiiiirls?”)
His default setting when meeting any woman was ‘flirtatious’, regardless of age, appearance, or marital status.
Hamilton touched people a lot when he spoke to them.
…All arms and legs, no shoulders or hips, so slender that he appeared frail, but that was deceptive. He had a heart shaped face, owing to a wide forehead broadened by an already receding hairline, with a rather pointed chin. It was bisected by a long, straight nose. Big hazel eyes sparkled under arched brows, and he had a lush mouth, a ruddy complexion, and a sprinkling of freckles.
My Beloved Eliza: The following anecdote which I learned from Judge Benson may amuse. A gentleman travelling from New York to this place stopped at Kinderhook and made several turns in the street passing to and fro before the store of a Mr. Rodgers. Apparently in deep contemplation, and his lips moving as rapidly as if he was in conversation with some person—he entered the store, tendered a fifty-dollar bill to be exchanged. Rodgers refused to change it, the gentleman retired. A person in the store asked Rodgers if the bill was counterfeited. He replied in the negative. Why then did you not oblige the Gentleman by exchanging It,—because said Rodgers the poor Gentleman has lost his reason; but said the other, he appeared perfectly natural. That may be said Rodgers, he probably has his lucid intervals, but I have seen him walk before my door for half an hour, sometimes stopping, but always talking to himself, and If I had changed the money and he had lost It I might have received blame.—Pray ask my Hamilton if he can’t guess who the Gentleman was. My Love to him, in which you participate. Adieu my Beloved Child.
This, and some other descriptions, confirm that Alexander Hamilton made a habit of both the pacing and talking to himself, particularly when he was composing arguments or essays of some kind. Poor Mr. Rodgers must have been very confused.
Daintyfire 