runawayforthesummer:

I feel like they were actually pretty good parents, if somewhat typical for their time (Eliza is going to do day to day stuff; Hamilton will take care of the boys’ education, etc).  They didn’t buddy up to their kids.  Like, being a parent is not about being your child’s friend!  At the same time, they were loving (like I can’t get over that letter to Philip that’s like “we love you and are so proud of you”).  

Like, not to make them seem perfect or like they had perfect children, but I feel like there’s this attitude of “we are in charge so fall in line” that I think their kids probably responded to, in part because they were also really loving.

I also don’t see either of them as yellers.  It was said that if Eliza were upset, her voice got very low.  And Ham was also soft-spoken, even if he talked for 1000 years one time without stopping.  

As far as like correcting behavior (making sure they were polite and knew their manners, etc.), that definitely seems to have fallen on Eliza, which would’ve been expected. She was the one up early doing the bible lessons with the little ones while preparing breakfast, etc.  She was also, of course, the one at the window waving them off when she couldn’t come kiss them during the Yellow Fever scare.  

I also love that story of someone coming over and Ham is taking a break from working and playing with his kids on the ground, but I don’t know how chill I think he necessarily was.  I think he may have been indulgent (it’s possible they both were), but he is also the dude that wrote out the Rules for Philip Hamilton, which are pretty helicopter parent-like. He was also the parent who wanted to make sure none of the kids was ever without a parent.  They both seemed concerned, especially, about NYC after the turn of the century and were pretty watchful over those kids, if they weren’t being sent to Albany where they might be protected from the evil city.

I think these two wanted to be parents and liked being parents.  The way Ham talks about his kids is so fucking cute (see: baby Philip; toddler Eliza).  And I love when Philip Schuyler tried to keep them longer in 1793, the Hams were like “nah.  Send us back our kids!  We love them!”  I think it’s clear Ham was delighted by them and he seemed to think Eliza was a pretty fantastic mother and his children did not disagree.

But I do think if something major happened, Hamilton could definitely turn on the scary dad voice. I have a feeling a lot of the squabbles between the siblings were dealt with by Eliza, in part because we don’t hear Ham having a reaction to them in his letters, right?  There’s no “I will deal with Alex and James when I get home,” etc.  But, like, I’m positive he would be the one to give out a harsh punishment.

In fact, Ham being in charge of the Big Choices (punishment/education/career) seemed to really weigh on Eliza after he died when it was all left to her.  Those are big things to take on when you’re used to either your partner doing it or at least having your partner to discuss it with.

At the Grange, his office was pretty much private.  Unless you were Eliza, you need permission to enter.  So, like, just imagine being one of his teenage sons and being called into dad’s office.  Yikes.

So yeah, I guess to ultimately answer your question, I think, like anything, it just depends on the circumstance.